Deed – InDeed

Lately, there is a lot of BUZZ about the Mother’s, Father’s days the norm which our society recently adapted. There exist a group of people who are completely against this and consider them un-Islamic and an adaptation of western culture.

When I was a child I use to love all the colorful chicks that an old man use sell on his bicycle in my neighborhood. I use to buy them with my pocket money and keep them as my pets. I had a cage on my roof where I kept all of them and in the evening I use to open the cage and let them out for some time. Me and My father use to guard them with a hockey stick from the evil hunter eagles. All this went on but one day an eagle came down and tried to pluck a chick when instantly my father swung the hockey stick and luckily it hit the eagle and it flew away leaving the chick behind; I ran to my father and hugged him for saving my chick.

Now when I look at the incident I come up with some questions; whether my father would have been rewarded for saving an innocent chick or he should be held guilty for harming a hungry eagle. I believe anyone other than my father would have done the same thing and he should be rewarded. Just because every deed is followed by the intention behind it; so to those who think celebrating mother’s day, father’s day is following the footprints of the western culture than think whether it was right to harm a hungry eagle? But again the reward i.e. good or bad entirely depends upon the intentions behind a specific deed. So it is clear that celebrating a father’s, mother’s or any other day is NOT at all following the footsteps of a western culture.

As far as the argument of restricting it to a specific day is concerned, I totally agree to the argument but very humbly I would like to ask here Islam teaches us to respect and obey our parents throughout the year. I feel no shame in saying this there will be 5% people who do the same and the rest of us intentionally or unintentionally do not follow the rule. So Why not we dedicate one day in a year for our parents, apologizes them for our mistakes, make them feel special on the day; may be by doing so we can get the apology which could not have been possible before.

This is just a thought that came to my mind and I penned it down. I have never celebrated any of these days myself but again what the point in arguing on the half empty glass and ignoring the half filled.

Work Your Relations

Relationships — of all kinds — are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most of it will slip. Every relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But trying to get it too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost. But what are those factors that impact a relationship and the parties separate with mostly not so good memories.

A relation to me is something that keeps the two parties intact. This can be something that can bring the two very close to each other, so close that they decide to spend quality time of their lives with each other.

Let us try to check how a relation can be nutritious and healthy. The important ingredient for a relation to be long lasting is to be vocal, both the parties in a relation needs to speak up clearly for themselves. Honestly speaking most of us fear stating our needs and this always result in either surrendering to the other or compromising with the situation. Ultimately this will turn in disappointment and anger for the other for not noticing their unstated needs. It is not just speaking up for you will help the issue you need to learn to listen as well. When you are brave enough to speak up you also need to be courageous enough to listen, and by listening means truly listen. There are times when listening is all we need to solve the issues, try to put your feet in your partner’s shoes.

Speaking, learning is not enough in some cases when the problems at hand are serious, here what you can do is to negotiate. Have a conversation on the issue gather the perspective of both filter them and find a best possible option that suits both. It will help to reach a common goal and will filter all the unwanted aspects from the issue. Healthy relations need negotiations all the times to flourish.

Solve problems as they arise. Hurt feelings are the most dangerous cause to weakening a relation, so act wisely and try to resolve the issues as they arise. Relation is not solo it requires two so you need to work as a team in keeping up the flag high. Co-operate, and share responsibilities what goes wrong in a relation is when you stop co-operating and sharing with your partner this leads to strong differences against one another and ultimately you become stranger to the other.

Last but not the least APOLOGIZE. No one is perfect and as humans we are bound to make mistakes. These apologetic attempts can be funny, clumsy but these repair attempts are crucial at every point in keeping a healthy relation going.

Remember a Relation can never be long lasting and healthy without honesty. To have an ideal relationship all you need to be honest not only with you but with your partner as well.