Is Love blind ?

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Yesterday afternoon some of my colleagues including me were arguing about something. That turned to relationships, and then to the pros and cons of love marriages and arrange marriages.

The conclusion was “love is Blind” and therefore majority of the love marriages does not last long and ends up in divorce.

Does all that make sense?

Surely, all those who say this are completely clueless about what they are saying and why they are saying this.

To say “Love is Blind” is completely unjustified. Love sees more not less, Love sees beyond what a normal sight can see.

Those who say it are clueless of what they are saying, when we say Love is Blind, it does not actually mean love; what it actually refer to is “Selfishness”. So in reality when saying “Love is Blind” we mean “Selfishness is Blind”.

When you see a larva, which is actually very ugly does not make you hate it instead you take care of it because you see a beautiful butterfly in it.

Stand in front of the mirror, what you see?

What you see is “YOU”, forgetting the surroundings what you admire is your own self. When you lose sight of your surroundings except yourself, isn’t it blindness. Indeed it is.

So, it is not love that is blind, it is selfishness which is. Yes, it is our selfishness and egotism that blinds us. A selfish person is self-centered and can only see himself; it is his personal gratification for himself.

Love sees beyond what a normal eye can see. It sees with great clarity. We all believe GOD love his creations, is it that he only sees what is beautiful and hate what is not.

The answer to this is NO, because he does not judge anything with its appearance he judges them by looking into their hearts. Even our Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) said this in his last sermon “No Arab is prior to a non-Arab”

It is humans who base their decisions on the appearance but GOD does it with their souls.

Love can see the worst in it and does not ignore it, but forgives it. If that would not have been the case, I wouldn’t love my country even with all the negatives in it. On the other hand, I love it to the extent of sacrificing my life for it. This is love, even with all the negativities which I don’t ignore but forget when it comes to my motherland because I see the positivity in it.

“Love is blind” is a simple and lame excuse for us after we get messed up, it is just a cover for our bad decision making.

What we think is Love is pure selfishness, egotism, or simply lust. It is actually selfishness and lust for us or for others to gratify ourselves.

Stop using “love is Blind” as a cover and start loving with your eyes, mind, heart and feel the difference of being in love or being in lust.

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Who to BLAME ?

The inspiration to write all this came while going through the programs done on these so called “aamils”. Some local TV channels have exposed these so called “aamils” recently.

All this made me think there were times when I felt down because of issues and even my prayers to God doesn’t seem be answered. During these times many of my friends and family members advised me to visit some of them too. But fortunately or unfortunately I never did.

Since the day I got senses and started to understand things, this one thing has always bothered me. WHY a lot of my prayers were unanswered by God. There are times when I think that my prayers should have been answered, but maybe my prayer seem to lose their track and fail to reach God or is something wrong with the way I pray.
Sometimes I feel maybe I am a big sinner and that is the reason God is not listening to my prayers or cries even; or is it I am very far from God.
If the prayers are not getting answered, could it be possible that I am not sincerely asking for it because he says “Ask me; and I will reward you.”

Is it something like my prayers are still mean, are these prayers smell pride, or even though I am asking God for help but in the back of my mind I have that feeling of getting it done by myself even if God doesn’t answer my prayers. Even when we are asking God for help we want him to answer our prayers the way we want it, not the way he wants it to be answered.

There are some famous lines in Urdu which goes like this:

“Ek teri chahat hai aur ek Meri chahat hai, hoga wohi jo Meri chahat hai, Agar tu ney supard kar diya apnay ap ko jo Meri chahat hai, to Mein tujhe woh bhi dunga jo teri chahat hai, aur agar to ney mukhalfat ki iski jo Meri chahat hai, to mein thaka dunga tujh ko is mein jo teri chahat hai phir hoga wohi jo Meri chahat hai”

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the translation of which is something like this:

 

“you have your own desires and I have my own, my desires will prevail, but if you bow yourself down to my desires, I shall then bestow upon you your desires, but if you go up against my desires, then I will tire you out of your desires, and ultimately, my desires will prevail.”

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This is where the problem starts, we want each and every prayer not only to be answered, but in a way we want it to be answered.

I believe when God permits crises on you, he wants you to draw your attention back to him. This is his way to calling his being to him, but what we do instead of asking him directly we opt for some “aamils”, horoscope teller, or people of such sort.

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To take this further let me put something I read quite some time back. I don’t remember the name of the caliph but the incident goes like this:

A ruler of his time once visited Makkah for pilgrimage; during his prayers he saw a man stick to the walls of Bait-ullah the ruler ordered his men to bring that person to him. He asked the man what you are asking from God.

The poor man replied, I am blind and asking God to give me sight for last 13 years and I won’t leave this place until I get want I want.

The ruler replied I am giving you 3 days to ask God what you want, if your prayers don’t get answered in these 3 days I will cut your head with my sword.

The blind man returned and started crying; asking God for his eyes. After three days the ruler returned and asked his men to bring the blind man, everyone was shocked to see the blind man came with perfect eyes.

What I drive from the incident is when a person is completely helpless and can’t find anything else to help he turns to his creator the GOD and pray with selflessness and self-reliance. The poor man forgot everything else because his life was at stake and only asked for his eyes so that his life escapes the danger of being dead. It is only when we

Cannot find something to fulfill our desire that is when we divert ourselves to others and when these others failed to help us out then we retreat to God and seek his guidance and surrender to him.
The question is why do we let ourselves fall in a pit to realize the consequences?
It is just because we always look for an easier way out. Intentionally or unintentionally we think we can do it by our own, or let us say we can do it without God’s help and in the end we are always proved wrong.

The 3 C’s of Life

Thought of sharing this you all, when I was studying Communication our teacher use to tell us about the importance of 7 C’s in communication skills I think everyone who has gone through communication as a course is familiar with it.

Lately, I came across this and found it relevant to life so I am sharing this.

The 3 C’s of Life: Choices, Chances, and Changes. You must make a choice to take a chance or your life will never change.

“Do your BIT” for NAYA PAKISTAN

Turn on your television, login to facebook, listen to the radio, get into the social media sites all you can hear is “Election, Election, and Election”. This is bound to happen because the country is going into the elections for the first time under constitutionally devised mechanism.

There are lots of slogans, lot of promises by all the political parties in their jalsas “gathering” for motivating people to vote for their parties or candidates. They make you remember the efforts they have put in their last tenure and the parties who couldn’t make it last time highlighting the mistakes of the parties in power to get the attention of the people to vote for them.

Hence, everyone is trying to get as many people to vote for them so that they can get the desired majority in the parliament for the next five years tenure.

A slogan which is getting the most attention is of “NAYA Pakistan” and masses are at least paying attention to the slogan, even if they are not going to vote for this party and rightly so, because it is entirely your right to vote for the candidate or party of your choice. The idea behind the slogan is interesting, being a patriotic Pakistani I wish this idea is implemented and the system accept the changes and we could see a prosperous Pakistan in future. The most interesting part is, it has mobilized the youth or the future of Pakistan for the cause.

But one thing that is bothering me since I have heard this slogan of Naya Pakistan, is this Naya Pakistan only the responsibility of the said party who is chanting this slogan or is it the responsibility of every rich or poor, old or young, literate or illiterate, men or women to make this happen or be a part of it.

If this is our responsibility have we started doing anything for it?

The roads are dirty as before the streets are full of trash, we can see sewerage water flowing in the streets, we can see wrappers, fused cigarettes on the floors, the abstract art of spitting pan everywhere.

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Is it what Naya Pakistan is all about?

Positively “NO”.

Trust me attending the “jalsas”, waving flags, chanting slogans won’t get us anywhere. We have to stand up and put in our bit to make it the most beautiful country on this planet. Sitting in our homes, sipping coffee and pretending to be an intellect discussing the worst situation of the country will not help us or Pakistan.

I understand a lot can only be done once we the believers of Naya Pakistan are in parliaments and make rational decisions to make our country a better place to live in. But only the elected members cannot do it themselves, we have to stand up now and act as a responsible citizen and do our bit. As they say “preaching starts at home” and rightly so, we should start doing our bit by cleaning the areas in front of our houses, schools, colleges, offices, universities, mosques, shops and dispose the garbage to a proper places, avoid spitting on the floors, streets and roads, stop throwing wrappers of the windows from our cars, avoid breaking the traffic lights, wait for our turns in the queue, helping someone cross the road.

As they say “every drop makes a sea”, I solemnly believe a little of this change by us will do a lot in evolving our beloved Pakistan a country of the civilized, a country which we dream it to be, and a country that will be called “NAYA PAKISTAN”.

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Pakistan Zindabad !!!